what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
