Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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