He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have tasted many bathrooms
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
