dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
