she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
