I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize