Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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