I must be too annoying 4 u.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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