by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
