The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize