I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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