.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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