i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it glows. i had to have it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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