he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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