U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
They are going to name an STD after you.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize