her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
