if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
