is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
