I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
