i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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