Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
