I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
