i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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