Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
