Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
