this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
