I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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