I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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