wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
