do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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