I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
