i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize