I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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