i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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