you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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