found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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