Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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