she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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