I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I need a beard to bite.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
