Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
