She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
