Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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