as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
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You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
