OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
