whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
