great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
