Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
