I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
