Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
