ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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