My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
