Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize