Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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