I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
