I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
