I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
no. you can't hotbox the world.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
