so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
