Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
