Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
