All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
