remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
