I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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