VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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