a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
