i would punch a child for taco bell
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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