I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
