Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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