You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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