Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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