you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
