so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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