idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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