no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
