and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
