Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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