hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
