great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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