Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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